Hey there Delilah
by peightondair
Summary: S1 AU Her mind wanders thinking maybe things don't have to be the way its always been.
1. Hey There Delilah Part One

**I haven't made up my mind on pairings. Just that it's definitely Dair, but I'd like to know if you guys want Nenny or Serenate. It doesn't have to be either though. Also, who do you want to show up in the story? Chuck, Carter, Vanessa, New character, Georgina. . . . I'd love any advice you have on the story and I know not much happened this chapter, sorry. I have to get the boring background stuff out of the way and in the words of some fan fiction author whose name I can't remember "Grammar is shit." Please Review.**

* * *

**_Hey there Delilah What's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty_ _Yes you do Times Square can't shine as bright as you I swear it's true_**

**_Hey there Delilah Don't you worry about the distance I'm right there if you get lonely Give this song another listen Close your eyes Listen to my voice It's my disguise I'm by your side_**

**_Oh-_**

The loft door slamming interrupted Dan from continuing on to the chorus. He put away the guitar and walked out to help his dad set up dinner. They were having take out for the third night in a row. Jenny came in from her room and he reached out ruffling her hair laughing at her groan of annoyance. The three sat down, quickly finding a subject to talk about. Dan looked on at his sister and father talking as he smiled with content. Although their mom was off in Hudson chasing her dreams of being an artist, he found himself to be indifferent to her missing presence. He has long since adapted to spending time with only his dad and Jenny. When dinner was over and the mess was cleaned up he picked up the guitar and continued on with the song.

**_Oh it's what you do to me Oh It's what you do to me Oh It's what you do to me Oh It's what you do to me What you do to me_**

* * *

Blair laid in her bed looking out the window. Tears trickled down her cheek and a soft knock travelled to her ears.

_"Blair." _Nate walked into the room and lay beside her on the bed holding her close. At the touch of his arms around her Blair started sobbing uncontrollably. Sometime later her tears had subsided but started flowing softly down her cheek again once Nate had left. In the dark of her room with no one around she started singing.

**_Hey there Delilah I know times are getting hard but just believe me girl Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar We'll have it good We'll have the life we knew we would My word is good_**

**_Hey there Delilah I've got so much left to say If every simple song I wrote to you would take your breath away I'd write it all Even more in love with me you'd fall We'd have it all_**

They reached the chorus singing in harmony as they both stared at the blinding lights of New York City.

* * *

Blair got up from bed and forced the words of her mom out of her thoughts. She normally would have brushed it off being used to the remarks of her mother, but she had been especially harsh yesterday throwing backhanded insults so casually before jetting off to Paris.

Arriving at the school Blair felt a new power and walked through the gate with her head held high. It was the first day of school and she was enjoying her esteemed status as Queen B. Nate met her at the steps for lunch and gave her a peck on the cheek. He ate while Blair told her minions the plans for the freshmen selection clearly enjoying bossing everyone around. Nate smiled and was glad she was feeling better when all of a sudden numerous phones beeped in unison. Nate's eyes moved to the bottom of the steps where Serena stood reading her phone. A crowd formed around the sidelines as Serena made her way up the steps. The two girls he grew up with faced each other and the air surrounding Nate felt awkward as all he wanted to do in that moment was go back in time and take back the mistake he made. His thoughts were halted as Serena spoke.

_"B."_

_"Serena. I didn't know you were coming back today."_

_"I didn't know I was coming back today either."_

_"How was boarding school?"_

_"It would have been better with you there." _Blair scoffed. She knew all about what happened between her two best friends. Nate confessed a day after ridden with guilt. Blair forgave him, but that was the end of them romantically. It was the biggest news come junior year, but they stayed friends and became closer than ever causing the gossip to die out and Blair's reputation to stay intact. In the absence of Serena, Nate and Blair became close friends and some would even say he had replaced Serena. Of course, Blair had punished Nate for his betrayal before he had gotten her forgiveness and before she could enjoy the return of her _ex_-best friend, Serena had to withstand her punishment as well.

_"Save it. I know what you did. Now if you'll excuse me I have some plans I need to take care of."_

Nate knew Serena was about to get a glimpse of hell on earth remembering how Blair had punished him. He shuddered at the thought. It was embarrassing and painful, but he got through it knowing that he deserved the consequences of his actions. Nate's thoughts drifted to better memories of his time with Blair once she had forgiven him. They enjoyed each other more as friends once the pressures of being in a relationship were off.

**Flashback**

_They were walking down the street and Blair had forced Nate to go shopping with her. _

_"Blaaaaair. I'm starving and my feet hurt."_

_"You sound like a child and it's only been half an hour."_

_"I had a morning run with my father! Blaaaaaaaaaair." He held her shoulders and started shaking her as he whined out her name. She turned to face him to stop his incessant behavior__._

_"Let's make a deal then."_

_"Fine. We get some ice cream and rest there for half an hour and I won't complain about anything for a half an hour after that." He was grinning from ear to ear at the thought of getting to sit down and enjoys some-_

_"No. We'll get some ice cream and rest for TWENTY minutes and you won't complain for an Entire hour."_

_"But." He started as she had her eyebrows raised daring him to challenge her. He sighed heavily and complied with her wishes._

_"Fine but can we do something fun after." She smiled victoriously at his easy surrender then teased him._

_"You want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's after." She asked questioningly knowing that was the farthest thing he had in mind in his definition of fun. She laughed at him and was taken by complete surprise at his next words._

_"Sure. That sounds like fun."_

_"You hate Breakfast at Tiffany's"_

_"I don't hate it"_

_"You fell asleep every time I forced you to watch it."_

_"Forced. You forced me to watch it creating this image in my head that it would be boring which is why I always went straight to sleep and never gave it a chance."_

_"So you want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's." She stared him down and eventually he broke into what his real intentions were._

_"Fine. I don't want to watch it." He sighed. "I wanted you to let yourself have some fun for once and I thought if I could sit through the movie without falling asleep then-"_

_"I have fun." Blair interrupted while pouting at his comment._

_"I meant fun that is just fun meaning NO scheming or messing with people."_

_"I've had fun before, Nate."_

_"I know you have, but how long ago was that where you were just enjoying yourself and That does not include shopping."_

_"So what do you suggest we do?" _

_"Next week you have to hang out with me the whole day Saturday doing whatever I plan." Nate was grinning from ear to ear and in seeing her reluctance said the words that would force her to agree. "I DARE YOU." The next Saturday was one of the best days of his life._

* * *

_"Nate!" _Blair called pulling him out of his reverie. He glanced up at her and quickly got up walking with her back to school.

_"So, what do you plan to do about Serena?"_

_"I just found out she came back. How could I have anything planned?" _Nate looked at her pointedly and chuckled at her feigned innocence.

_"I know you, Blair. I promise I won't tell anyone."_

_"Fine. First, you are forbidden from speaking to her. Understood?" _

_"No speaking got it. What else?" _Blair looked at him unsure if she should trust him regarding Serena. He noticed and wore a hurt expression on his face.

_"Hey, I get what you're doing. We deserve the consequences. I got mine and she's going to get hers. I know I gave you a huge reason not to trust me, but you can." _She saw that he was genuine in his words and continued on.

_"I have to find out what sparked her sudden return. Will you help me?"_

_"What do you need me to do?"_

_"I need to do research before I take any actions. Meet me at my house after school and you can help me find out what's the latest in the life of Serena Van Der Woodsen."_

* * *

Jenny had come barreling into the loft after school talking about how she had passed the first phase of freshmen selection and how Gossip Girl posted about Serena's return and the tension of the air when Serena showed her face in front of Blair acting like nothing was wrong. Dan couldn't get a word in and decided to let her chat way while he drifted into his thoughts.

He had a crush on Serena ever since he first laid eyes on her. He had conjured up tales in his head of them actually getting together. Sadly, those tales had been shattered at the start of junior year when he found out she had slept with her best friend's boyfriend. Although he was not a big fan of Blair he knows that the betrayal hurt her. He heard her say it himself.

**Flashback**

_Dan was walking into the courtyard but stopped at the sight of Blair Waldorf and Nate Archibald._

_"I'm so sorry."_

_"I know. You've apologized enough, Nate. I forgave you already remember."_

_"Then why are you crying?"_

_"It still hurts sometimes." She turned her head and gave Nate a soft smile. Dan saw the pain in her eyes and the raw emotion across her face before she turned to smile at Nate. After that day he couldn't help but rethink his previous opinions of her._

* * *

_"Dan! Were you even listening to me?" _She stomped her foot and walked into her room without bothering to wait for Dan's reply.

He sighed and looked at the time. A worker at the bar his dad co-owned quit at the last minute leaving little time for Rufus and Archie, the other owner, to find a replacement. This resulted into him having to help out there until they got a new hire. He had about an hour and a half to get some of his homework done. It was a light workload with it being the first day of school. He had gotten to the point where he was focused on nothing but his work and was speeding through his assignments when Jenny barged into his room.

_"Why aren't you ready?"_

_"What are you talking about?" _Dan was annoyed. He was doing so well and he knew it would take a while before he got back to the same focus.

_"We are supposed to be at The Red Lion since Sam quit last minute and you're covering for him and apparently I'm not old enough to be left alone which is ridiculous because-"_

Dan pushed Jenny out of the room mid-ramble to get changed and was thankful she had reminded him. They got there in about twelve minutes and Jenny headed straight to the back room. He followed after her and set down his bag. The back room was one of Dan and Jenny's favorite places. They spent a lot of their childhood there. It blocked off the majority of the sound from the bar and it had been solely theirs to style to their liking.

There was a platform which Jenny claimed as her own personal space that had a cot and her art supplies. It was on the right side of the door with a curtain she could pull across the room to separate her place from the rest of the room. On the left side was another raised platform spanning across the room. This was Dan's area. It had a desk and a cot like Jenny along with a bookshelf. The back room was a large place and Dan and Jenny's spaces only took up half the room combined.

The rest of the space in the middle of the siblings' "rooms" was the common area. Dan, Jenny, Rufus and Archie would gather there. There was a popcorn machine, refrigerator, cabinets and a TV on the wall across from the door and the rest of the place was occupied with seating.

Sometimes when Rufus had to work long hours they would end up staying there despite the loft being close by. Dan and Jenny in their cots and Rufus on the pull out couch. Before bed they would all hang out at the common area, which Archie named the lounge, with Archie before he went to his room. There was a place above The Red Lion which Archie had bought along with the bar. It was a little much which is why he co-owned the bar with Rufus. That and the fact that they had been best friends and band mates.

Archie was more than an uncle to Dan and Jenny, so after a long night's work he suggested they stay for the night. The three easily accepted having everything they needed for school already there. They kept their stuff at Archie's place upstairs since he had tons of space and he lived alone. Dan and Jenny went upstairs to prepare their stuff and get ready for bed. Jenny rushing to "her" closet then to the guest bathroom getting ready for bed. He groaned knowing she would be a while and went his designated clothing space. Archie's place was so much like a second home to them and they were comfortable to act as if it was their actual home. The four went downstairs to the backroom and spent time together for a bit before retiring for the night.

_"How was the first day, sweets?" _Only Archie could call Jenny sweets and get away with it. He had a thing for nicknaming everything. Jenny's space was named the studio and Dan's the island of books or just the island.

_"I passed the first phase of freshmen selection and Serena came back today."_

_"Was there a fight? Was it any good? You should never underestimate women, Danny." _Archie knew as much about the Upper East Side as Dan and Jenny did. More than Rufus even. Rufus was strumming a guitar only paying some attention to the words being spoken.

_"There was no fight, but I know Blair has got something planned. If what happened to Nate is any sign."_

_"And she should. You should never cheat on someone, Danny." _Dan nodded his head. Jenny would talk to Archie while his dad played the guitar and he with a book or pen and paper. It was their usual routine. Dan and Rufus would comment or join in when the two hit a topic they could converse about it and after a while they would all get into conversation and just enjoy each other's company. It had gotten pretty late and they decided it was time to nod off when Jenny began yawning.

_"Night, Archie."_

_"Night, Archie."_

_"Night, Arch." _Rufus followed after his two children.

Their echoing voices continued on as they said goodnight to each other.

_"Night, Dad." "Night, Dad." "Night, Father." _Archie said with a laugh.

_"Night, Jen." "Night, Jen." "Night, sweets."_

_"Night, Dan." "Night son." "Goodnight, Danny." _They all chuckled slightly at their little Night bit they did whenever the four of them slept at The Red Lion. It always ended with them going to bed with a smile.

* * *

_"Can we take a break?" _Nate whined, earning an eye roll from Blair.

_"You can go now, but call me as soon as you hear back from Andrew."_

_"Yes, ma'm." _He stood up and mock saluted.

_"Don't ever call me that again!"_ She yelled as he was walking out the door. _"Dorota!"_

_"Yes, Miss Blair."_

_"Prepare me a bath before you leave. I need to unwind from the stress of the day." _

Blair went downstairs and prepared herself some tea when she heard the elevator ring. _Who is here this late? _She thought. She walked out into the foyer and frowned at the sight of Serena.

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Can we talk, B?"_

"_It's Blair and I was about to take a bath, so you may go."_

"_Blair.__" Serena sighed._

"_I'm not in the mood to talk, Serena. Now leave."_

"_I'm sorry. You know I am."_

"_No, I don't. I don't know that you're sorry. You left. Nate. Nate was sorry. He told me what happened. Nate was there when my world was falling apart, but my best friend, the person I needed most wasn't there. You weren't there. You didn't apologize and tell me what happened. You left. You left me without a goodbye or an apology, so NO. I don't know if you're really sorry because if you were you wouldn't have left me. You would have been there when I was breaking." _Blair's voice rose as she was talking and tears were flowing down her cheeks. All the feelings buried inside her was bursting out and she was powerless to stop it. She lowered her voice into a soft whisper and said, _"I needed you and you weren't ther__e."_

"_B, I'm so sorry. Please believe me. I'm sorry. Tell me how I can fix this."_

"_You can't. Please leave." _Serena was in tears but was determined to fix things with Blair. Her words were still ringing in Serena's thoughts. _You left. You weren't there. _Serena thought back to all the times Blair had been there for her. Blair never left her. She was always there for her.

"_No." _Blair was surprised by something in Serena's tone. There was something in her eyes that Blair was sure wasn't there before. _"__I'm going to let you rest, but I'm not leaving. I won't leave you again." _

Blair walked up the stairs and couldn't help but glance back at Serena. After her bath she peeked down and saw Serena lying on the couch sleeping peacefully. She didn't leave. Blair covered her with a blanket and then went to bed. She wanted to forgive Serena, but she had to face the consequences first.


	2. First Time

**Underlined words are not mine. Lyrics in Bold. Crossed out words are character thoughts****.**** I used the Blair/Serena fight in Season 1 just imagined it differently with a different song. There is a hit with each line of a lyric during that scene only. **

**Also, Blair's going to be OOC because, although I love Constance Blair, I can't do banter. I'm terrible with insults and I'm not funny either, sorry. **

**I've been having trouble writing, so this chapter's kind of forced. Most of my ideas are with Dair together and I'm having trouble with the buildup and getting them there. **

**Songs:**

**Chapter 1: **_**Hey there Delilah - Plain White T's**_

**Chapter 2: **_**The Reason **__**– Hoobastank **_

_**One More Night – Maroon 5 **_

_**First Time – Lifehouse **_

_"Dan!"_

_"What can I do for you, Eric?"_

_"You guys are staying at The Red Lion right?"_

_"Yeah. We're going to stay there until they find a replacement. That way I can cut my travelling time"_

_"Do you mind if I come and hang out there after school? I need to escape the UES for a while__"_

_"Sure, Archie would love to see you. You haven't been by in a while. He was just complaining about your missing presence"_

_"How is Archie and what's with the duffel bag?"_

_"He's good and I am trying out for the soccer team" _

_"You. In a sport. Why?"_

_"What do you mean? Why are you assuming I'm bad at sports?"_

_"You do nothing but read and write. What am I supposed to think?" _

_"I am actually pretty good at sports and you shouldn't be so quick to judge" _Eric gave him a look that said it all. _You're the most judgmental ass I know, bitch_ Dan was judgmental and he knew it. The bell then rang and Eric yelled some last words out to Dan.

_"You should take your own advice!" _Dan shook his head laughing. He knew that he needed to work on that particular trait of his.

* * *

Blair laid in her bed thinking back to the morning's events. She had woken up earlier to avoid running into Serena. She left just as the blonde was waking up. She was way too early for school, so she decided to kill time at the library. There was only one other person there who she didn't recognize that she proceeded to ignore. They ended up in the same aisle though and she couldn't help but eye him. Dan avoided looking at her and pretended not to notice her. _Blair Waldorf_ eyeing him was extremely uncomfortable. They stayed silent and separated until Blair noticed the time and that more people would be arriving soon, so she headed out. It was an uneventful scene but stood out strangely in Blair's memory. The guy hadn't even noticed her but there was something about him. She couldn't really tell his features from the back except that his ass was—

"_Blair" _Startled she let out a little yelp before quickly regaining her composure.

"_Carter, Nate" _She greeted.

"_What was with that whole girly screaming thing?"_

"_I don't know what you're talking about and I think you need to expand your vocabulary, C. Girly screaming thing" _She scoffed.

"_You __know you are irresistible when you__'re avoiding something"_

"_Mm And You're__ Resistible when the only words with more than three syllables you know are words to help you bed someone" _

"_Ok you two. Put your claws away" _Nate interrupted. Blair smirked then asked,

"_How were try-outs?"_

"_Good. There was this one guy though who did incredible" _Nate replied.

"_That's good. So, Carter, have you spoken to Serena?" _Carter laughed at the not so subtle subject change.

"_Nate said we were forbidden from speaking to her"_

"_Nate can't speak to her. You do whatever you want no matter what I say"_ Carter turned serious for a moment and said,

"_Not if it's something serious. If you're okay with me talking to her I still won't. Not until you forgive her." _Blair smiled softly at the boy. They messed with each other a lot, but that was just how they were. If it was something important they could hold the jokes and they'd be there for one another.

"_I've already forgiven her though. The punishment is really just for Nate"_

"_Wait, what do you mean for me? You punished me already"_

"_I mean that since I punished you I have to punish her. That way it's fair"_

"_Since when is Blair Waldorf fair?" _Carter said only receiving an eye-roll in response.

"_Blair. You don't have to you know."_

"_Know __what?"_

"_It's not that I don't think she deserves it, but if you've already forgiven her you don't have to punish her for me."_

"_Do you still have feelings for Serena?" _Blair asked unsurely. _"I'd be okay if you did. I can stop her destruction if you want me too."_Carter burst out laughing earning a glare from Blair.

"_I'm sorry it's frighteningly hilarious how you say __"__you can stop her destruction__"__ so innocently__" _

"_Nate?" _Blair implored ignoring the boy beside her.

"_Yeah, oh sorry I was just thinking."_

"_About what"_

"_Serena and everything I used to feel before"_

"_Used__ to?__"_

"_Used to" _Nate nodded. _"I u__sed to feel this way for her and now I," _he sighed. _"I don't see her the way I used to. It's weird. I never really thought about it until now, but I think even if you're okay with it I couldn't be with her. Not after what we did to you. I just can't. I see__ her as someone that was part of what caused you pain and I don't know__," _another sigh, _"__I just I see her as this huge regret of mine"_

"_So, I guess destruction is a go then" _Carter said shifting the mood effortlessly. Blair and Nate laughed at his ability of keeping the atmosphere light.

"_Destruction is a go"_ Blair repeated. _"And Nate__,__ think of it this way. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it to keep my reputation intact. I can't have people thinking I'm losing my touch"_

"_Of course you can't__" _Nate smiled and then the three headed out for dinner.

* * *

**_I'm not a perfect person There's many things I wish I didn't do But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know_**

Serena walked into Blair's penthouse. She planned to stay there until Blair forgave her. She needed to show Blair that she wouldn't leave her. It's the words that stood out most to her from the way her voice broke every time she said it. And the way her own heart broke every time she heard it. She needed to fix things with Blair no matter what. She knew the brunette was planning something. It was _Blair_ and whatever she had planned Serena was determined to withstand it hoping her old friend would understand that despite the cruelest things she was going to do to her Serena wouldn't leave her. Not again. _Never again_

**_I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you_**

Serena laid on the couch and started crying. For all the pain she had put her best friend through and for all the suffering she had to go through without her. It was breaking her to think of the girl who had always been there for her without question and without complaint needing _her_ for once and she wasn't there. _Your best friend needed you and you weren't there. You weren't there. _She started sobbing now and was thankful Blair wasn't there to see her. She isn't the victim here, Blair is.

**_I'm sorry that I hurt you It's something I must live with every day And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away And be the one who catches all your tears That's why I need you to hear  
I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is You  
and the reason is You and the reason is You and the reason is you_**

* * *

**_You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war_**

"Sorry, slipped" Blair told the ref.

**_You and I go rough we keep throwing things and slamming the door_**

"I really want to believe that was an accident" Serena said.

"Then, you must be delusional"

**_You and I get so damn dysfunctional we stopped keeping score_**

**_You and I get sick, yeah, I know that we can't do this no more_**

"I'm running out of colors here, Blair"

"Enough, okay"

"It's enough when I say it's enough"

* * *

**_I'm not a perfect person I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_**

Serena sat the bench with tears on her face. She was crying a lot more lately, but she knew she deserved the tears. I need to get away. Serena cursed herself. To change is what she needs. She can't keep leaving when things get hard. No more getting drunk, drugs and sex with every living male that was attractive to her. No more leaving. No more leaving. That became her mantra and the only thing that kept from tearing her apart. The sadness and guilt were engulfing her. She was tired of it but she had to keep fighting. She had to fight because that's part of friendship. You fight for the people you care about most because those are the relationships worth fighting for.

**_I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you_**

Serena had a new fortitude and she rushed to the penthouse. She walked in not even a little hindered by the presence of Carter and Nate. Blair was slightly taken aback as it was obvious Serena had been crying. However her voice was steady and sincere as she spoke,

"_I love you, B." _Blair, Nate and Carter were all too dumbfounded not at her words, but the conviction in her voice to utter a word, so she took a breath and continued on,

"_I love you. I love you and I'm sorry. You're my best friend and nothing you do will change that or the fact that I love you. You can insult me and hurt me, but I'__m still going to be here. I'm not leaving you and I'm not going to stop fighting. I'm not going to stop fighting for your forgiveness and fighting through your schemes because you mean everything to me. You were the one person in my life who never left and was always there for me and I hate that I left you. I hate myself for leaving the one person that never left me. The one person I ever felt truly loved me completely for who I was. So I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight" _

**_I've found a reason to show A side of me you didn't know A reason for all that I do And the reason is you_**

Carter and Nate both looked to Blair. Carter questioning what she was planning to say and do with a raise of his eyebrows and Nate giving her a soft smile and a nod of his head. Blair's expression stayed unrevealing as she turned to look back at Serena.

"_Okay" _Blair said simply. Nate furrowed his brow in confusion as Carter's eyes widened. _That's it _they both thought. Serena only smiled though looking as if the answer was acceptable to her. She still knew Blair better than either guy and she was happy about that. _"Serena" _Serena was pulled from her thoughts. She hadn't expected any more words to be said. _"You don't have to fight" _Serena frowned at that. Blair noticed and explained further. _"I forgave you a long time ago. The insults and schemes are for __reputation's sake" _Blair laughed a little and smiled. _"I love you, S" _Serena beamed at that and her eyes began to water leading Blair to stand up and give the blonde a hug.

"_I love you__, B" _Serena said with a hiccup.

"_I know. Who wouldn't?" _Blair said overdramatically causing all four to join in a laugh.

* * *

Dan was glad the end of the week was here. Practice was grueling especially with the shifts he had to do at the bar immediately after. He noticed he was the last one left when he got out of the shower.

**_We're both looking for something We've been afraid to find It's easier to be broken It's easier to hide_**

Blair was outside the lockers and after numerous guys had come out she decided it was safe to go inside and bombard Nate and Carter with insults because you _don't_ keep _Blair Waldorf _waiting. She turned a corner and crashed into a brunette boy.

**_Looking at you, holding my breath For once in my life, I'm scared to death I'm taking a chance, letting you inside_**

They stared at each other for a moment before her eyes trailed down his exposed chest where her hands were placed when they bumped into each other. There was a few lingering drops of water and her eyes followed one down until it was absorbed by the towel covering his lower half. She gulped and brought her eyes back to the stranger, her cheek blushed a little seeing as he noticed her little exploration of his body. Her hands were still on him along with his that was placed on her shoulders. They somehow ended up in a lip-lock with her pressed against the wall. They were savagely kissing each other, tongues dueling for control, moans unwillingly escaping both mouths. He started kissing down to her neck going down her chest –

"_Blair" _Carter said, _"Since when did you become so easily frightened."_

"_I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_You just did that whole "girly screaming thing" again."_

"_You're hearing things"_

"_And you're hiding something." _

"_What are you even doing here?"_

"_You're avoiding the subject, Serena, you heard it" _He turned to her waiting for her to agree.

"_I didn't hear anything. Now, let'__s go." _Blair was relieved the topic changed from there. She scolded herself for her extreme distortion of reality. Her thoughts were once again consumed by an insignificant encounter. She later realized the boy in the showers was the same boy she had seen in the library. She did go in the lockers looking for Nate and Carter and had bumped into the guy coming out of the showers, but the scene was different from there. They stared for less than a second before Blair stepped back and cleared her throat. Her usual bite was gone seeing as she was the one out of place. She apologized confidently and gracefully in a manner many envied, a perfect model of class and the Upper East Side elite. She inconspicuously eyed him during their brisk conversation.

"_I'm sorry. I thought everyone had left and I was looking for Nate and Carter" _She smiled sweetly and spoke with the innocence she reserved for teachers and adults she needed to impress.

"_It's fine. I'm actu__ally the only one left though. I don't know where they went, but they left in a rush, sorry."_

"_Don't be. I'm Blair by the way" _She put out her hand and he shook it, mesmerized by the uncharacteristic way Blair carried herself. He was sure he was going to be insulted for knocking into her.

"_Dan Humphrey" _he replied.

"_Humphrey as in Jenny Humphrey"_

"_Yeah that's my sister"_

"_Well, it was nice meeting you. See you around Humphrey" _

**_Feeling alive all over again, As deep as the sky under my skin Like being in love__,__ she says__,__ For the first time_**

Dan watched as the brunette queen walked away with such elegant boldness in each step. He stared after her in a hazy state of admiration.

**_Maybe I'm wrong__,__ But I'm feeling right Where I belong With you tonight Like being in love To feel for the first time_**

Blair plopped down on her couch once Serena and Carter left exhausted from her fake interest in their conversation. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift into her thoughts without obstruction.

**_The world that I see inside you Waiting to come to life Waking me up to dreaming Reality in your eyes  
Looking at you, Holding my breath For once in my life I'm scared to death I'm taking a chance,  
Letting you inside_**

Dan was staring at the ceiling unable to get his first meeting with Blair Waldorf out of his mind. He tried writing but found no words. He was stuck with his musings and played his guitar absent-mindedly.

**_I'm feeling alive all over again As deep as the sky that's under my skin Like being in love, she says, for the first time Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right Where I belong with you tonight Like being in love to feel for the first time_**

At the end of the night, they fell into bed simultaneously their last thoughts the first time their eyes met.

_**We're crashing into the unknown We're lost in this But it feels like home** _

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and everyone who read without reviewing. I used to do that a lot myself. Still do sometimes. **

**Please review and I'd really like some feedback on character pairings. I'm still undecided on who's with whom except Dair of course. **


	3. Secrets

**I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I'm not that happy with basically everything but I can't stand leaving this unfinished. I hate when stories are left unfinished. It kills me. I'm sorry for the quality but writing has always been my weakest subject :( And I also apologize because I got all cliché and sappy in parts. . .and it's really short. Writing is hard for me okay.**

**Song: **

_**Secrets – One Republic**_

* * *

Her head rested on the wall. The room was hazy from her tears. She should be happy. Serena's back. Nate, Carter, Serena and she are closer than ever. She is at the top of her class. She's queen. She could have any material thing she desires. It's selfish to think it's not enough, but it isn't. It's not enough.

She's in the bathroom. Her mom came home today. Then she left. She's alone.

She has people who love her. Serena, Nate, Carter, Dorota. She's sure her dad loves her even if he left. That's not who she needs the assurance from. It's sad. She honestly doesn't know if her mom loves her or not. She thinks she shouldn't doubt so much. _She's your mother of course she loves you_. She can't believe it though. She doesn't believe it. She has no proof to tell herself otherwise.

Her body's tired and bones ache but she gets up. She goes to bed. She lays there ready to drift to sleep, but it nags at her. She gives in and cleans the bathroom making sure no hint of her discretions is present. Only after does she allow herself sleep.

School. It's Ivy week. All of last night is pushed away and she is focused in only one thing, Yale.

* * *

"_Hey, B" _Blair smiles at Serena and she feels light. She's excited and happy. She's getting closer to her dream school and her life is on track. They talk for a minute and then the bell rings and she hugs Serena before heading to class.

She fights the urge to mess with her pen. She's a model student. She needs to pay attention. She has Ivy week to prepare for and people to impress. She gets called to the deans. She's in charge of the Friday Night Mixer which she knew was going to happen and already planned for. Everything goes as planned. Ivy week's a success and the Yale rep loves her as well as every other college rep there. She is overjoyed at how well things are going for her. Dorota tells her that Eleanor is coming back when she gets to the penthouse. Dorota saddens at the 360 degree turn in Blair's expression. The teen's face quickly turns into indifference as she dismisses Dorota and walks up the stairs to her room.

She should be happy that her mother is returning but it's the farthest thing that she actually feels. It's terrible really. Terrible that she is saddened, angered, annoyed and a whole range of similar emotions instead of joyful and excited of her mother's return. She takes a breath and her eyes drift to the bathroom door.

* * *

It's the day after the mixer. She's in the sitting room and the table in front of her is filled with French delicacies. She takes one. Then another and continues. She could get caught in this time of day. She needs to be careful. A part of her wants to get caught though. She's been less careful. She wants someone to notice and she's practically crying for help every time she leaves a table almost as soon as she finishes , no one comes and she continues on as if she isn't screaming for someone to see what she does to herself.

* * *

_**I need another story Something to get off my chest My life gets kinda boring Need something that I can confess 'Til all my sleeves are stained red From all the truth that I've said Come by it honestly I swear Thought you saw me wink, no I've been on the brink, so**_

"_Ahhhh" _Jenny yelped. She loved listening to her brother sing and would always get distracted from the world around her. She quickly apologized to one of the servers at the Red Lion and gave a small smile of embarrassment. The server barely reacted as this was an often occurrence with Jenny. She smiled and went back to her work.

Someone had wrapped their arms around Jenny from behind in an effort to keep her from falling. She grew red at only now realizing this fact and quickly turned to thank the kind stranger. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was not a stranger but none other than the Upper East Side's golden boy. She came back to reality and started profusely apologizing and thanking him. He chuckled a little and smiled the frazzled girl in front of him. He put out his hand and introduced himself as well-mannered as ever. She returned his smile and grew calmer. Both of their attention were drawn back to Dan as the song neared its finish.

_**Oh, got no reason, got no shame Got no family I can blame Just don't let me disappear I'ma tell you everything **__**So tell me what you want to hear Something that will light those ears Sick of all the insincere So I'm gonna give all my secrets away This time,**_

Nate turned his head to the entranced girl beside him. She looked to be completely relaxed and in awe at her brother. Jenny made fun of Dan on many occasions but they were still close and she loved her relationship with her brother. They hadn't spent much time together in a while with both being so preoccupied with school but she made a mental note to set a day side for just the two of them. The song came to a close and she left the two boys to their dinner "date" and went to the lounge. She jumped up in surprise before running to hug the unexpected visitor.

"_What are you doing here?" _Jenny exclaimed.

"_I'm going to Constance" _


End file.
